Sexual Etiquette or uhhh, yeaaa...

So it’s late and into the 15^th hour of work with three women, two in their early 20’s another in her mid thirties, the conversation turns to sex. Now, dear readers, knowing it is generally much better to listen then to talk, what was presented was an opportunity to learn, gain insight or at least derive some amusement. After resisting numerous attempts to be dragged into the conversation, it was the phrase “Sexual Etiquette” , a guide published in a popular woman’s magazine, that sucked me in.

My delightful co-workers were going down (insert silly sophomoric pun) a list of “do’s” and  “don’ts” for the boudoir. Don’t know if it was the alarming number of don’ts that were hitting home or the sheer silly unpractical set of rules that was being presented that caused the noticeable reaction my face was reflecting. “Have we been a naughty lad”?  Someone asks, and guilt is quickly admitted  (one finds it is ALWAYS best to admit as opposed to deny, it just moves things along all the faster) and then ask all of the ladies present do they REALLY want a man that is always asking permission and perpetually polite. What conversationally returned was the company line. Which in turn inspired me to push further. “Fortune favors the bold” and which really leaves a lasting impression? The man who, sensing the timing, seizes the moment or the man who sensing the same instant asks for permission to (fill in the blank)? 

Picture it, if you will, “Excuse me, may I place my tongue just there” or “Pardon my penis, it tends to do that sometimes”.  For the sake of not getting censored they went further down the list of unacceptable behavior to which will not be explored in great detail here, save for the fact that according to their list your truly ranks as a right proper bastard. Then the thought struck me. Men take, it is what we do. Now one can be a jerk about it or one can be a suave devil it is all in the approach. Real men take charge without being a bully. You want take anyone to a surprising place if they are laying out the route or if you are unwilling to take a chance.