Divorce… or Whatever Works

Ok came off a 7 week gig working with this writer/producer couple that have been in the business for a long time. Almost two months of listening to these two bicker, undermine one another and hold very public displays of really tacky behavior that just made everyone very uncomfortable. 

It was sort of like going to that dinner party in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf”. Uuuugggghhh…  would rather a wank with number seven sandpaper then do that again. Had to simply tune it all out, dolefully nod my head and carry on.  The constant conversation was WHY are they even together. Why endure all of that day in and day out. My personal theory was that the energy of their ongoing conflict sustained them, nourished them.

Perhaps in lew of sex they fought.

Who knows. What did dawn upon me was all the stories of my friends that have and are going through divorce. Upon gumming and morseling these various memories a smile ran across my face as I found four basic categories for “D-day She moves on and he cannot handle it... usually the woman is not getting what she needs from the union and seeks or even finds it elsewhere

He moves on and she is wicked pissed… usually some guy deciding to trade up
(guys never leave unless something else compels them to)

They both decide that it was a mistake… shake hands and move on
(could even lead to a great friendship)

They both hate each other… like hate
(if one ends up dead you know the first place to look)

To be perfectly frank most of the divorce stories I know my male friends are at fault and in a way that saddens me. I mean the fights over something a banal as money and assets. The little games to get more then the other or the irrational thought/decision that the other party is not deserving half of the marital assets. Such a waste of time. I have a great friend that stays in an unhappy marriage because he does NOT want to give up half his fortune to his wife.  So they both cheat and spend their time properly fucking up their kids.

There is no price to high for freedom and peace of mind but it seems that there is an unwillingness to even TRY and work things out or reach mutual understanding. Then again who wants to be in constant negotiation mode.  Why do so many unions go so wrong?

I have a theory:

With women perhaps it is from not being truly be honest with what it is they really want and seeking that which they think is good for them. For example she likes rock and roll biker types but feels a banker is a better “catch” or marriage material. For me this is TRULY fucked up… if you like a particular type then go for it 100% no BS compromises and no time wasting. No man will hit thirty and decide it is time to get hitched and seek out the safe bet.

With men it is a gross lack of maturity in the criteria for selection and/or seeking a pet to either dote on or beat up on (figuratively) or even worse a prop that exists to only serve.

This is kind of sad and not only diminishes both parties involved it also denies the real joy when you find that partner who with, together the world is for the taking.

What do you think?