The Moebius

Do you have a friend or every meet someone who just shares a little too much? And it seems what it is they are willing to share is either of a personal nature (ummm no I really do not want to hear anymore about your rubber dildo with the suction cup and how wonderful it is in the bath, just my drink please) or just plain bitching.

Complaining, what good does it really do? Not much I reckon, save allow an avenue for it’s mojo to escape your fleshy exterior and dissipate into the cosmic either.  That energy is better served in seeking a solution to the issue at hand so as to never have this “thing” in you life any more, but alas some of us do not think that way.

Case in point a friend brings a new 5^th to our poker game and he seems a rather nice bloke and all EXCEPT that he wont shut it. His job, in which he makes a ton (according to him) His amazing pad and ride. The list goes on. Braggarts are cute and it is sometime fun to listen to them go on and on. If you got it why NOT let the world know.  No bother. But when the conversation turns to sex… perhaps I am a bit old fashioned but the only time I want details is when someone of the fairer sex is nestled on my lap and telling me about things the are GOING to happen as opposed to hearing some dude regale us with tales of tails tagged in the recent past. But that is not as bad as hearing someone openly share their sexual dysfunction with strangers.

Who DOES that?

Divorce… or Whatever Works

Ok came off a 7 week gig working with this writer/producer couple that have been in the business for a long time. Almost two months of listening to these two bicker, undermine one another and hold very public displays of really tacky behavior that just made everyone very uncomfortable. 

It was sort of like going to that dinner party in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf”. Uuuugggghhh…  would rather a wank with number seven sandpaper then do that again. Had to simply tune it all out, dolefully nod my head and carry on.  The constant conversation was WHY are they even together. Why endure all of that day in and day out. My personal theory was that the energy of their ongoing conflict sustained them, nourished them.

Perhaps in lew of sex they fought.

Who knows. What did dawn upon me was all the stories of my friends that have and are going through divorce. Upon gumming and morseling these various memories a smile ran across my face as I found four basic categories for “D-day She moves on and he cannot handle it... usually the woman is not getting what she needs from the union and seeks or even finds it elsewhere

He moves on and she is wicked pissed… usually some guy deciding to trade up
(guys never leave unless something else compels them to)

They both decide that it was a mistake… shake hands and move on
(could even lead to a great friendship)

They both hate each other… like hate
(if one ends up dead you know the first place to look)

To be perfectly frank most of the divorce stories I know my male friends are at fault and in a way that saddens me. I mean the fights over something a banal as money and assets. The little games to get more then the other or the irrational thought/decision that the other party is not deserving half of the marital assets. Such a waste of time. I have a great friend that stays in an unhappy marriage because he does NOT want to give up half his fortune to his wife.  So they both cheat and spend their time properly fucking up their kids.

There is no price to high for freedom and peace of mind but it seems that there is an unwillingness to even TRY and work things out or reach mutual understanding. Then again who wants to be in constant negotiation mode.  Why do so many unions go so wrong?

I have a theory:

With women perhaps it is from not being truly be honest with what it is they really want and seeking that which they think is good for them. For example she likes rock and roll biker types but feels a banker is a better “catch” or marriage material. For me this is TRULY fucked up… if you like a particular type then go for it 100% no BS compromises and no time wasting. No man will hit thirty and decide it is time to get hitched and seek out the safe bet.

With men it is a gross lack of maturity in the criteria for selection and/or seeking a pet to either dote on or beat up on (figuratively) or even worse a prop that exists to only serve.

This is kind of sad and not only diminishes both parties involved it also denies the real joy when you find that partner who with, together the world is for the taking.

What do you think?

Nalin Palin or Say it Aint So Newt...

Yea Yea Yea… religion and politics, I know but, why not.

Ever spend time with someone who’s ideology just irks you?

Now, the tone in the good old US of A is kind of harsh these days. The collective cognitive dissonance of the Obama presidency will be echoed through out history and time will paint a clearer picture of just what was going on. For me this presidency is like the others before it, furthering corporate rule and all the blah blah blah that goes along with that.

From listening to Newt say we need to be more like China to create factory jobs to the functionally illiterate, irrational and endlessly angry tea party…

[By the way where were all these constitution lovers when Ron Paul was running]

… Anchor babies, and the overall hate towards people who just want to be free and kinda believed those words on the statue of liberty, yea yea yea they are breaking the law by crossing the border without permission and that kinda bugs me but the meanness from the other side is overwhelming the legitimate issue.

To this weird debate over a mosque being built near WTC, newsflash there is one near there already and has been there for 40 years, longer then I have been alive

Coupled with this endless stream of Millionaire commentators trying to get a rise out of everyday people they have nothing in common with. Do you think Bill, Rush, Bob and all the others really have to worry about their rent, a grocery bill or how they are going to send their kid to a good school.

It seems a new low in public debate and news reporting has been marked in 2010

I mean Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter and Dr. Laura really cannot stand them and find their collective side show truly disturbing. But for some reason I like Sara Palin not for her views or intellectual prowess (snicker) but there is something about her that makes me want to totally rock her narrow short sighted little world.

Is this wrong? Do I need to go see a shrink?

When She Just Wants To Own You… For The Night

So at the hotel bar killing time, nursing a glass of wine and this conversation wafts over my ears. They were speaking a language other then English; fortunately it was one that attention was paid to in school and well used during travel. So the ears start tuning in with the hope of an interesting tidbit.

Turns out it is just a couple of guys bitching about women, how boring. Turning back to the staring contest with my glass of wine it strikes me like a hammer the next thing overheard.

“I do not understand why she is not returning my calls” The answer is simple my friend, she does not want to.

Now, a guy complaining about women is nothing new and I have done my fair share.

She hates my friends/job

She keeps spitting it out

She keeps wiggling free (She has no idea how hard it is to tie a knot with underware?)

BUT whining about how some girl is not returning your calls… ummm… NO!

I think the rule is two calls, no reply, move on.

The one thing you do NOT do is pester a girl/woman/plaything (tossed that last one in just to raise a few eyebrows). Who is obviously not interested? Why is the most obvious thing in the room invisible to this type of person aka future stalker.

The reality is no one owes anyone anything. Does this guy really want to know why she is not calling back? Bad breath, body hair, poor hygiene, insanely boring, small penis, who knows and WHY do you want to? The fact they are not calling back should be enough information.

 You can show them attention and show them appreciation. There is a difference between pursuing and hounding. One gets you laid and the other gets you arrested.

What would you say is the difference between pursuit and hounding?

Ok Its Like This…

a bit after midnight and there is this 3.5 hour render my poor mac is subjected to. So needing to kill time a workout and perhaps a nap spring to mind. So out the door and off to sweat, dear reader, go I.

Feeling good, tight and strong so yours truly decides to wrap with a sauna and right back home to see the fruits of my labor. 

While in there (sauna) some dude moves from his seat to a place close to my legs and without a word starts rubbing my feet instinct takes over, pull my feet away and tell the dude WTF. 

He replies “blah blah blah you have nice feet”. So I thank him and move to the other side of the room. He moves as well. Pissed off  I tell him whatever it is he is selling, not interested. He gets a bit miffed and starts in on the feet again. 

By now I want to deck him BUT not wanting to be accused of a hate crime or even more so just not wanting to be a jerk , conversation is the tool opted for at this moment  He starts defending his right to whatever and at that moment I left the sauna grabbed my gear and split.

While getting a cab the thought crossed my mind that women must have to put up with shit like this and FAR worse. A moment ruined by some a$$ who will not observe the good graces of polite society and take a damn hint.

Ugggghhhhh… that has to SO suck.

White Socks and Sandals or “No”

Live and let live rings true and echoes deep in my essence of being, but we all have that one thing. That nagging itch, that splinter just under the skin or bit of food impossibly lodged tween thy bicuspids, taunting you. Keeping you from full Buddha hood.

Mine is sandals with socks, esp. white socks.

Do not know why it is so madding, such a small thing and TRULY none of my business what another person wears BUT non-the-less I find it ghastly. When I see someone sporting this fashion faux pas one can envision a manners ronin righting this egregious wrong. This blight upon our collective sensibilities but then I remember “land of the free” and all that nonsense.

Sigh

I bet they would do it in Singapore!

Sexual Etiquette or uhhh, yeaaa...

So it’s late and into the 15^th hour of work with three women, two in their early 20’s another in her mid thirties, the conversation turns to sex. Now, dear readers, knowing it is generally much better to listen then to talk, what was presented was an opportunity to learn, gain insight or at least derive some amusement. After resisting numerous attempts to be dragged into the conversation, it was the phrase “Sexual Etiquette” , a guide published in a popular woman’s magazine, that sucked me in.

My delightful co-workers were going down (insert silly sophomoric pun) a list of “do’s” and  “don’ts” for the boudoir. Don’t know if it was the alarming number of don’ts that were hitting home or the sheer silly unpractical set of rules that was being presented that caused the noticeable reaction my face was reflecting. “Have we been a naughty lad”?  Someone asks, and guilt is quickly admitted  (one finds it is ALWAYS best to admit as opposed to deny, it just moves things along all the faster) and then ask all of the ladies present do they REALLY want a man that is always asking permission and perpetually polite. What conversationally returned was the company line. Which in turn inspired me to push further. “Fortune favors the bold” and which really leaves a lasting impression? The man who, sensing the timing, seizes the moment or the man who sensing the same instant asks for permission to (fill in the blank)? 

Picture it, if you will, “Excuse me, may I place my tongue just there” or “Pardon my penis, it tends to do that sometimes”.  For the sake of not getting censored they went further down the list of unacceptable behavior to which will not be explored in great detail here, save for the fact that according to their list your truly ranks as a right proper bastard. Then the thought struck me. Men take, it is what we do. Now one can be a jerk about it or one can be a suave devil it is all in the approach. Real men take charge without being a bully. You want take anyone to a surprising place if they are laying out the route or if you are unwilling to take a chance.